My life consists of where I'm at right now, moving one foot in front of the other. People call it forward motion, and that's what I'm doing. I enjoy being with friends almost as much as I enjoy spending time alone, and I love playing my cello and learning more about music. I've been learning a lot about life in general, and how to move on from things that have happened in the past. I have a couple amazing friends, and Grant- the love of my life! Grant told me something as I was crying about how I felt lost, and how I felt confused, and really just all the self pity stuff that is so easy to give into if you're not careful. He said "if you don't know where you are going, how can you be lost?"
I was puzzled to hear that, but after thinking about it for a minute, it started to make sense. I can't get so locked up in where I want to go (or think I'll want to go a couple years down) that I'm not able to get caught up in a moment and let life and God take me where I need to go, or where I'm destined to go.
Life tends to turn us in different directions that we were never ready for in the first place, which helps us get confused about where we are, because our eyes were so focused on that end goal that we weren't able to enjoy life, or even follow God the way everyone says they are in the first place.
About me? I'm just me. I'm building my character and person, and trying not to let anyone else define me. While developing myself, I'm trying to get to know God because I know his character is around, and I really want to understand Him-- it will probably be a lifelong journey.
I'm finding the music in life, and the art in each moment, and the light up ahead. One big thing for me right now is focusing on exercising happiness in every moment that I feel the absence of it-- sometimes a more difficult task than you would think.
as you can see, I'm still young and newly out in the world for myself. I feel like I can truly understand those people who feel lost in the world, because I'm experiencing some of that for myself, but I know I'll be okay, and I know that if I stay right here and keep going, all my lessons will be learned and I won't have to feel so lost later, because I will own what I believe, and stand where I stand for me one hundred percent.
It's hard to cross the river with no bridge, but as I put one foot in front of the other on these stepping stones, I will look back and see how far I've come, and be able to breath and be somewhat proud of myself for crossing that river and making it.
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